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It seems ever so rare to find a man who is capable of holding a conversation beyond just wanting to hook-up. The guys within a 15-minute drive only seem interested in sex. Sure, sex can be fun, but less so when I know the guy is going to leave and ghost me without explanation. Did I do something wrong? Am I that ugly? I thought we had a nice time? 

I learned I wanted to get to know the guy beforehand. Sex can feel a lot more, well sexy, when I actually have some kind of spark with the guy. I quickly learned I often felt obligated to satisfy him. He made the effort to drive all the way here. And it was clear the guys were only there for sex anyway, no point in trying to make conversation. It's a bit depressing being in the middle of sexual interaction and realizing you can't recall his name. Was it James or Jack? Did he even introduce himself before whipping it out? 

Men used to have to make the effort to buy parchment, envelopes, and stamps to sit down and write romantic letters to someone they had affections for, and do so regularly lest their love forget them and move on. These days it's difficult to even get a text back. These "dating" apps may have thought themselves wise for creating a modern dating application, but in reality they gamified dating. Made it more about ordering a hook-up like one would order take-out and less about an actual connection. I'm not saying I expect to fall in love, but at least liking the guy before sex would be nice.

Until someone comes along who I can actually connect with, I'm fine waiting. I don't mind being alone, I've learned to be comfortable by myself, with my books, my writing, my cat and dog to keep me company. I have learned that pets are far more honest about how they feel than many men on these apps after all.

If I had any skills in coding I'd try my hand at making my own dating app, but actually make people fill out their profiles, and have some sort of points system. If you're a total asshole to someone, points go down and you only match with people with roughly the same score as you. If your profile says you're looking for love, and your matches feel you're genuine in that search, your score goes up. Something to keep people honest. No saying you're looking for love, and wanting to fuck ASAP, it's dishonest, and your score will be lowered because of it. (If anyone knows how to code, you can use that idea. I'm down to beta test it) 

To everyone out on the apps, I wish you luck in your journey of weeding out the unsuitable matches.  And to my readers who have already found their person, you lucky bastards.